The TRUTH about Collaboration...

Collaboration Bullies.💪🥊

Yep it's a thing and I'm going to put a name on it and expose it for what it is 😱

What is a collaboration bully?🤔

It is a person who shames someone if they do not like collaborating. (This often happens in a very gaslighting sort of way.)😏

The shaming is most often achieved by acting as if collaboration is the chosen method of highly evolved, abundant people. (Indicating you are somehow less evolved and living in scarcity of you don't.)

I call BULL💩💩💩

As someone who was collaboration-shamed for 4 years by my colleagues and by people who were supposed to be guiding and leading me, I know all too well, how awful it feels to be told (or insinuated) that your true nature is somehow wrong, selfish or indicative of having a lack of mindset. 😒

If that has ever happened to you, I just want you to know that these people are simply doing the best they can with what they know at the time. And because most of the population are natural collaborators, it's natural to assume that the people who are different are wrong and need to be fixed. 😕

(And the worst collaboration bullies are usually the ones who had collaboration shamed into them and now stand on the forefront trying to bully others.)

Life is short. Forgive them, and move on.🥰

Here's what I want you to understand.
👇👇👇

From my research, approximately 10-15% (I could be slightly off, I'm still working on numbers) are LEADERS not collaborators. (Note: in Ancient times, these people were often Rulers and held high positions.)

Key: Leaders are the minority, since the majority of people are natural collaborators.

And we know that it becomes far to easy for the majority to somehow decide that the minority is somehow bad or wrong or needs to be fixed.

Can these 10-15% of people collaborate? Absolutely! It's not that they can't. It's that most of the time they shouldn't. They can choose to collaborate occasionally, but it should never be the primary way of being, and it should never be in a forced manner. It should be on occasion, and when it feels natural and in alignment.

And collaboration can look different for leaders. Leaders have the big vision and should call in people who can fulfill the vision. And collaboration should be between leaders who have completely different areas of expertise.

Here's some hints that you might be a leader.

✅You feel like you have to force yourself to collaborate (and sometimes you have done this for so long that you have talked yourself into being okay with it)
✅You collaborate because you feel shamed/judged if you don't
✅After a collaboration you feel mentally exhausted and drained. It does not light you up.
✅Collaboration causes massive frustration (even though you probably do a good job of hiding it)
✅ You have to keep your leadership tendencies pushed down, in order to collaborate.

Do any of those describe you? Then you are likely a leader and not a natural collaborator. ☑️

And just like natural collaborators should not be tasked with coming up with the big vision and managing others, leaders should not be tasked with collaborating on someone else's big vision.💯

As humans on this evolutionary journey, we are getting a lot better about understanding that other people around us, actually do not think like us. But for a very long time, we expected other people around us to operate in a similar manner as ourselves. So leaders who were running the show, expected that they were overseeing a bunch of other leaders. Expecting that each person should fly solo and be perfectly capable of working alone on the piece of their project.

More recently it has become realized that the majority of people actually do better collaborating with others, and a bit of a collaboration movement was born. And of course, since the majority of people are natural collaborators, it made sense from the outside looking in, that collaboration was clearly the best way to get things done and that everybody should collaborate.

Nope.

Now in order for us to consciously take things to the next level as a group of humans, we must learn to appreciate different personality types and let them work their magic their own way.

Just like that saying about the fish who lives his whole life believing he is stupid because of his inability to climb a tree.

So if you are a leader, please know that YOU ARE FINE EXACTLY THE WAY YOU ARE! You don't need constant collaboration, and you are not a bad person if you don't want to collaborate all the time.

You are better flying solo, and maybe organizing others to collaborate.

Not everybody is meant to be a leader.🧍
Not everybody is meant to be a collaborator.🧑‍🤝‍🧑👭👬👫👬🧑‍🤝‍🧑

Should we evolve? Absolutely.💫 Should we try to stretch and do things outside of our comfort zone? Absolutely.💫 But at the end of the day you also need to honor who you are as a person and your natural inclinations if you want true peace and happiness in your life.🧘‍♀️

And it is never okay to shame someone or insinuate that they live in scarcity, if they choose to not collaborate.👎

Just for the record, most natural collaborators are not bullies about it. It is more often the true leaders who have been shamed into collaboration that are the worst offenders. Natural collaborators can jump on the bully bandwagon too, but it's not as common.

Bottom line: Don't be a collaboration bully.🚫

And if you are a natural born leader who has been collaboration-bullied... please step back into who you are meant to be. 💃💃💃

Sending love to all of the leaders and collaborators out there! Let's work with each other's strengths and not try to force fish to climb up trees 🌳🐟🚫

Are you a natural leader or a natural collaborator?

Xoxo Chelsie